


A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon

by asideofourown



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Conspiracy Theories, Crack Treated Seriously, Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens), Domestic Fluff, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, M/M, POV Outsider, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22116949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asideofourown/pseuds/asideofourown
Summary: tildeathdoustogetherok friends so i know we all joke about, like john mulaney and keanu reeves and hozier being immortals, but… i really think we gotta add anthony j. crowley to that listthelongest27yearsofmylifereblogged and said:Christ, Beth, Anthony Crowley is an increasingly popular, openly queer creator with explicitly queer rep in his work that’s really important to some people, can you not make this into a meme for ONCE in your life?tildeathdoustogetherreblogged and said:you think i’m joking but.  i’m not.  l i s t e n  i did not get a history degree for nothing, i have RECEIPTS. buckle in kiddos this is a wild ride[Crowley accidentally gets a bit famous, and the internet figures out he may be a bit immortal]
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 284
Kudos: 2178





	A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys i'm literally just here to shitpost, and then this got way out of hand ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ First fic of the new decade babey!!!
> 
> Standard disclaimer that goes with this kind of fic: opinions expressed by random people on the internet may not represent the views of the author, and any usernames mentioned did not exist on the platforms they were assigned to at the time of writing
> 
> Enjoy!

“Listen, angel, I’ve got to admit something,” Crowley said without warning as he came into the bookshop one chilly December morning.

Aziraphale looked up from the mug of cocoa he was nursing and the book he was reading and frowned slightly.“My, that’s a worrying way to start a sentence,” he said.“Would you like a drink?”

Crowley waved an absent hand and slunk over to the counter, all but draping himself over the register.“It’s not— ’s nothing bad, angel,” he said, wrinkling his nose.“Just.Want to tell you before you find out yourself.So you know the reasons!”

“Hm,” Aziraphale hummed.He leaned up a little, and Crowley accepted the good morning kiss with decent humor.He pushed his cocoa across the counter and Crowley took a grudging sip.

“Thing is,” he started, and unless Aziraphale was mistaken he looked a little embarrassed.“I wrote a book?”

Aziraphale immediately beamed.“Oh, dearest, you did?” he gasped, delighted.“I thought you didn’t like books!I’ve never been so pleased to be wrong.”

Crowley rolled his eyes, taking his sunglasses off and setting them on the counter.“Don’t you start getting any ideas,” he blustered, but Aziraphale could tell that his heart wasn’t in it.“I still maintain that I do not, cannot, and will not read.”He grimaced.“It was part of an assignment, back in, oh, maybe the 1990s?” he said with a loose, careless shrug.“You know, the internet was just starting out, people were getting more connected, easier to stir up a worldwide furor.I figured if I wrote a really shitty, controversial book, I could start some trouble.It’d be funny.Only, it didn’t turn out entirely shitty, and I ended up kind of… projecting?”His lips twisted, and Aziraphale’s bright smile grew a little.He had an idea of where this might be going—

“It’s hardly my fault!” Crowley squawked, seeing his expression.“You were wearing jumpers all the time that decade, you looked so soft, I couldn’t help it—!”

“Darling,” Aziraphale said with a laugh.“I’m honored to have been your muse.What was the story?”

“Criminal meets a bookshop owner and finds he can still love,” Crowley mumbled, looking away and scowling.“Cue hijinks, drama, conflict, et cetera.Utter drivel, if you ask me.”

Aziraphale smiled so brightly he was sure he was glowing. _“Dearheart.”_

Crowley made a grumbling noise in the back of his throat, but let Aziraphale take his hand and lace their fingers together.He didn’t even comment when Aziraphale kissed his fingertips, his wedding ring.“I’d love to read your book, Crowley,” Aziraphale said earnestly.“Only, why tell me now?If this happened in the 90s?”

“Kinda lost track of it,” Crowley sighed.“I had a lot of projects going on at the time, that one fell by the wayside.Then, a few months before the Apocalypse, I got drunk, sent some of the bullshit I’d compiled over the years to editors.Meant to clog up their slush piles, make a nuisance of myself while I still could.Heard back about this one right after everything in Tadfield, wasn’t really thinking hard when I said yes to a publishing deal, and then— Well, I’m telling you since it’s meant to come out this week.Uh, today.”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale gasped, jumping up.“Oh, can I get a copy?Dearest, I’m so proud, you’re a published author!”He rounded the counter and took both of Crowley’s hands, pulling him a little closer.His eyes were bright, starry, and Crowley’s attempted sneer didn’t really come off as contemptuous as he probably meant.

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” he said.“I’m still not into Wilde.”

“Ah, but there’s hope yet,” Aziraphale teased.He gave Crowley a gentle kiss, and then said in a softer voice, “I won’t tease you too much if you don’t want, but this is ever so lovely.I know you don’t like to hear it, dear, but it is.”

Crowley smiled sharply.“Oh, I’m sure I can still cause some trouble,” he said.“It’s remarkably queer, might get banned in some places.And people on the internet’ll fight over anything nowadays.”He made a face.“I’ll get you a copy, angel, but I’ll warn you that it’s not good,” he said.“I wrote it, after all, didn’t I?Not exactly Shakespeare, me.And it’s the worst time of year to publish a book, and it’s a tiny indie publisher.I’m sure no one will take any notice, just wanted to tell you in case you saw anything and got _ideas_.”He snapped his fingers and a fresh, hardbound book appeared in one hand.

Aziraphale took it wonderingly, his smile at once ecstatic and adoring.“I’m sure we’ll see, dear.”

Crowley coughed awkwardly.“Anyway, now that that’s all out of the way,” he said gruffly.“Brunch?”

Aziraphale grinned.“Delightful!”

He left the book on the counter, and didn’t give it another thought for the rest of the morning.

* * *

_Heaven Might Be a Bookshop_

By Anthony J. Crowley (Author)

SUMMARY: Petty criminal Damien Sly expected his life to be cruel, friendless, and end with a bang once he got in over his head in London’s gritty underworld.What he didn’t expect was to stumble, bleeding and hopeless, across kindly bookseller Ezra Downs— the first person to offer Damien help despite his dark past.But even as Damien gets to know Ezra, and feels the heat of passion begin to warm his cold heart, danger lurks in the shadows.It’s hard to leave behind a life of crime, after all, and there is more to Ezra than meets the eye… secrets are hidden behind his angelic demeanor that must be uncovered before he and Damien can ever have a chance at happiness together.

**Average 4 stars, 342 customer reviews**

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ **Hope to see more!**

Wasn’t expecting much, I usually don’t randomly go in for new authors (I know what I like, ok?), but this was better than expected!Plot’s a little cliche, but that can be expected from this genre, and it wasn’t so bad that I had to stop in the middle.Overall, writing’s pretty good— I appreciated that Sly and Downs were made to understand, apologize, and make up for the mistakes they made rather than automatically getting forgiveness from each other, I’m a fan of communication in romance novels!Hope to see more from Anthony Crowley in the future.

⭐️⭐️ **Disappointing and underwhelming**

From the summary I was hoping it would be exciting, but that wasn’t the case at all.Too many feelings, not enough action, and the ending was a completely unrealistic deus ex machina. Wouldn’t recommend if you’re looking for something to sink your teeth into

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ **Gay!!!**

I can’t express how much I enjoyed this book, it’s always so nice to read about older queer folk finding love and happiness.AJ Crowley did a great job demonstrating the growth of relationship between Ezra and Damien in a way that felt unforced and natural, while keeping an exciting pace in the story. Not to mention how happy it made me to see an explicitly nb/bisexual main character and panromantic/asexual romantic lead! Can’t wait to see if this author’s written anything else, this one is a hidden gem!

[Read 339 more reviews]

Customers who bought this product also bought: _Good Omens_ by… [READ MORE]

* * *

Aziraphale was reorganizing some of his Brontës (they had been sorted by year, but he had decided it might be better to sort them alphabetically by first word) when a customer came into his shop.That in itself wasn’t unusual— despite his best efforts, people still tried to buy things from him.What was unusual was the way they scampered in almost soundlessly, and then seemed to try to disappear into the shadows of the stacks.He might have thought it was Crowley, trying to sneak up behind him and scare him, only Crowley wouldn’t be caught dead in a bright yellow puffer jacket and wellies.

Finally, when he finished sorting to his satisfaction, he ventured out to the front of the shop to find the customer lingering in front of his meager shelves of modern literature.“Can I help you?” Aziraphale asked, imbuing his voice with as much patience as he could muster.

The customer jumped anyway, turning sharply on their heel.“Um, just browsing, sorry,” they stammered.“Unless, um, you happen to have that new book?The, um, AJ Crowley one?Dunno if you’re heard of it?”

Aziraphale beamed.He kept several copies of Crowley’s book on hand, a fact that made his demon gloat every time he thought about Aziraphale ‘compromising his worldview’ to sell his wares ‘like a normal business owner.’“I most certainly do have it!” he said, leading the customer up to the counter.“Just over here.”

He pulled a copy out from under the counter, handed it to them.Another advantage of being married to the author of one of the hottest new books on the market was that he had managed to convince Crowley to sign a couple of copies.Crowley said he had done it for the discord, jealousy, and chaos it would spread, but Aziraphale knew he was just as happy about the genuine joy it brought a few of Aziraphale’s customers.

“Here you are,” he said with a gentle smile, and accepted the ten pounds he was given in return, waving as the customer left.As they walked out a familiar demon walked in, and Aziraphale lit up.“Oh, hello, my dear!” he exclaimed.

Crowley raised an eyebrow, casting a look over his shoulder before sauntering up to the counter and giving Aziraphale a kiss on the lips.“Was that a sold book I saw?” he asked teasingly.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes.“Oh, you know what it was,” he huffed.“The fifth of yours I’ve sold this week!”

Crowley’s eyebrows went up.“Oh?”

“Mmhm,” Aziraphale agreed.He absently smoothed down the lapel of Crowley’s dark jacket, toying with the fabric.“ _I_ thought you said no one was going to take notice, love,” he said with a mischievous smile.

Crowley groaned.“How was I supposed to know?”

Aziraphale chuckled.“Well, my dear,” he said comfortingly, “The nature of our presence here is that we _do_ occasionally do things that get recognized.You haven’t been properly famous since, oh, the 1940s?Perhaps it was just time.”

Crowley pulled a face.“Nature of our presence my _arse_ , when was the last time the humans were taking notice of you?”

“I had my heyday,” Aziraphale said with a bit of a blush.“You were… asleep.”

Crowley sidled a little closer, looping his arms around Aziraphale’s shoulders.“That so?”

“Mm.”Aziraphale slid his arms around Crowley’s waist, kissing him on the cheek.

“’s not a big deal, hopefully,” Crowley said finally, his eyes mostly closed behind his dark glasses.He and Aziraphale were swaying just slightly, dancing to unheard music.

“What, you’re not planning to write any more novels?” Aziraphale asked with mock surprise.

Crowley stuck out his serpent’s tongue.“Not on my bloody life.Much more attention, and people are going to start asking personal questions.”

“We can leave, if you’d like,” Aziraphale offered quietly, suddenly serious.“Go somewhere for a few decades?Where no one will bother us?”

Crowley grunted.“Don’t think that’ll be necessary,” he replied finally.“Honestly, I could probably tell all of humanity I’m an immortal demon and they’d think I was taking the piss.Doing a publicity stunt or something.”He rolled his eyes and then gave Aziraphale a half smile.“Thanks for the offer, though, angel.”

Aziraphale brushed his fingers over Crowley’s cheek, a move he had dreamed of doing for millennia and had only recently gotten the courage and freedom to try.“I’d take you anywhere you want to go, Crowley.”

* * *

**sly-the-spy**

guys??? i went to get another copy of heaven might be a bookshop bc my dumb brother spilled coffee on mine, and i think i somehow got a [signed copy](https://66.media.tumblr.com/a763f010494e656b04fbbd600e49a237/521babb2f9177fe1-18/s640x960/aad8d0242ef235cdfd56d49c6286b679144b509f.png)??? help???

 **becauseicanfinallybreathe** reblogged and said:

omg did you go to az fell’s in soho? my sister got her copy there and the same thing happened! fell’s a local cryptid anyway, so idk how but somehow he’s getting his hands on copies signed by anthony crowley!

 **sly-the-spy** reblogged and said:

it was some place in soho, idk the name (it was raining i wasn’t paying attention)! and uhhhh didn’t want to say bc i thought i was crazy, but i think maybe the owner knows ajc? i saw a ginger going into his shop when i was leaving, but i didn’t want to say anything (re: thinking i was crazy). did i brush shoulders with my new fave author ajc, bc if so i will Die

_#hmbab #ajc #ok but like??? #should i go back??? #bc if this fell guy really knows ajc then he might come around the shop??? #i probably wouldn’t meet him #but what if i DID_

_**12 Notes** _

* * *

“Sooo,” Crowley said, waving a hand in the air.“Thoughts?”He was sprawled out over Aziraphale’s couch, his computer open in his lap, as rain streaked the windows and Aziraphale sorted through a box of old book receipts he had yet to file.

“I don’t know, dearest,” Aziraphale said a little absently, squinting to read a receipt from 1892 before putting it in his ‘keep’ pile— he knew exactly where in the shop that book was, after all, so he must not have sold it.

“I mean,” Crowley said slowly, biting his lip, “Why would they want to?”

Aziraphale put his box down and turned to find Crowley with his arms tightly crossed over his chest, his brow furrowed as he stared at his computer screen.“My love,” Aziraphale sighed.“The fact of the matter is, a lot of people think that what you wrote is good.Is it any wonder that someone might want to interview you about it?”

Crowley’s lips twisted.“Good,” he spat without any heat.

“With a lowercase G, Crowley,” Aziraphale assured him.“Not Heavenly, certainly.Don’t fuss.”

“Right,” Crowley sighed.He ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling it up.“I don’t have anything to say, though,” he said.“This whole thing is ridiculous.Embarrassing! For humanity, I mean.”

“Well, think about it this way,” Aziraphale said reasonably.He got up and joined his husband on the couch.Crowley had two windows open on his computer, the email invitation to an interview about his book and one of his fake social media accounts, where he was stress-starting-arguments.“You wanted to cause chaos, right?” Aziraphale said, pushing down his instinctive angelic reaction to thwart the wiles of evil.“What better way to cause chaos than to go on television and say something absurd?”

Crowley considered that.“A bit harmless,” he said suspiciously, squinting at Aziraphale, who just shrugged.

“Mm,” Crowley hummed.He clicked around on his computer, adding to a few conspiracy threads while he thought, and then said, “I’m not keen on saying something horrible on TV, honestly.”

Aziraphale smiled softly, and the love must have been emanating from him so strongly that Crowley wrinkled his nose.“Calm down, there,” he said, nudging Aziraphale’s leg.He scratched at his cheek, pulling his sunglasses off and resting them on top of his head.“I could be difficult, I suppose.Or start conflicting rumors.It’s just… petty, you know?Not the kind of scale I’m used to.”

“Not every project can be the Mona Lisa,” Aziraphale pointed out reasonably.

Crowley barked out a laugh.“Suppose that’s true.Not even for Leo.”His eyes widened, and he snapped his fingers.“Ah!I know!”He grinned slowly.“I know what I’ll do.”

“Do tell,” Aziraphale said invitingly, already preparing himself to talk Crowley down if he was planning something _too_ damaging.He _was_ still an angel, after all.

Crowley just gave him a grin.“You’ll have to wait and see.Wanna come, though?”

Aziraphale smiled, gave him a quick kiss on the tip of the nose.“I’d love to, darling.”

(“Crowley, you were wonderful,” Aziraphale said much, much later, after the interview and a celebratory dinner at the Savoy.

Crowley blushed a little and mumbled something vaguely confrontational, which Aziraphale didn’t take to heart.Crowley had clearly gotten a bit frazzled under the bright lights of the interview, and Aziraphale had even been brought out for a few minutes after the third time Crowley had mentioned him in an answer, but Aziraphale had thought that, overall, it had gone absolutely swimmingly.The only thing was…

“I don’t think I caught what you said to incite chaos?” Aziraphale said tentatively.

That got Crowley to grin, and he raised one eyebrow.“Oh, angel, it’s a long con,” he said.“You’ll just have to wait and see.Patience, after all, is a virt—“

Aziraphale shut him up with a kiss, and Crowley smiled against his lips before kissing him back.)

* * *

**Excerpt from Interview with Author Anthony J. Crowley**

**Interviewer** : Lovely to meet you, Mr. Crowley, and I’m such a fan of your book.Did you expect such a large response when you were writing?

 **Anthony J. Crowley** : Nope.

 **I** : Not at all?Well, did you hope for it?

 **AJC** : Nope.

 **I** : Can you talk a little bit about your inspiration for your book?What convinced you to start writing?

 **AJC** : Started writing it in the 90s, forgot about it a while, now it’s been unleashed upon the world.For better or worse.

 **I** : You’ve been praised not only for your writing style, but for the level of detail you have on more… esoteric subjects that you manage to weave skillfully into the narrative.How did you learn so much about 14th century book binding, or French cuisine during the Reign of Terror?

 **AJC** : It’s not like there was much _else_ to do in the bloody 14th century. I was bored to tears, had to take up godblessed _book restoration,_ angel still hasn’t let me live it down.And the other stuff, well, you just pick it up if you’ve been around enough.

 **I** : ...Alright.Um.You mentioned ‘angel.’Is that…?

 **AJC** : My husband.

 **I** : Fans of _Heaven Might Be a Bookshop_ will know that ‘angel’ is also the nickname Damien picks up to call Ezra.Were you inspired at all by your own relationship to write about the dynamic between Ezra and Damien?

 **AJC** : Sure.Ezra’s more or less based on Azir- my angel, he is. 

**I** : [Laughing] Would that make you the criminal Damien Sly, then?

 **AJC** : [Serious] I couldn’t say.Statute of limitations and all that.

 **I** : …Well.OK.Are you planning on writing any more, Mr. Crowley?Rumor has it you’ve another book in the works.

 **AJC** : Rumor!Ha!Nope, no more from me, I’m done. 

**I** : That’s a pity, many people find your writing remarkably compelling, I’m sure you could find an audience.

 **AJC** : Sure, audience of two, if my husband’s reading.

 **I** : How long have you two been together?

 **AJC** : Married, a few years.Dating, the answer changes depending on who you ask.We’ve known each other for more than six thousand years, though.

 **I** : Oh, that’s lovely, being with someone you feel as though you’ve known forever…

* * *

**tildeathdoustogether**

ok friends so i know we all joke about, like john mulaney and keanu reeves and hozier being immortals, but… i really think we gotta add ajc to that list

 **thelongest27yearsofmylife** reblogged and said:

Christ, Beth, Anthony Crowley is an increasingly popular, openly queer creator with explicitly queer rep in his work that’s really important to some people, can you not make this into a meme for ONCE in your life?

 **tildeathdoustogether** reblogged and said:

you think i’m joking but.i’m not.l i s t e ni did not get a history degree for nothing, i have RECEIPTS. buckle in kiddos this is a wild ride

ok so i’m going to start with stuff that ajc HIMSELF has said, and then go on to historical evidence.

  * in this interview at 2:41 ajc references being alive in the 14th century (and apparently learning about bookbinding???) i’m not an expert myself but there’s an excellent meta here by @book-doctor that breaks down about whatever the hell ezra’s talking about in chap 14 of hmbab— according to them, the bookbinding shit referenced in the novel was most common around the 1320s? so like maybe ajc is a good researcher, or maybe he wast h e r e
  * in this interview, at 5:23 ajc responds to the question “How long have you and Zira [his husband] been together” with “centuries.” Admittedly, this isn’t the best proof bc it could be an exaggeration, but like… watch the clip? does he look like he’s joking? bc he jokes later on about the response to hmbab and some of the criticism he’s gotten and you can _tell_ he’s kidding around. the centuries thing seems dead serious
  * in this article, he namedrops oscar wilde? like, in a weird way? go and read it yourself, the whole article is wild (lol pun intended), but for the busy among you the quote is “oh, yeah, i got to meet a few of zira’s new friends after my kip. he and oscar always got on well.” 
  * extension of above, he namedrops??? a lot??? he’s namedropped: every member of queen (which, like, fine, if you do really believe he’s in his late forties/early fifties he could _technically_ have been old enough to have met queen at some point), winston churchill, mary, queen of scots, galileo, michaelangelo, martin luther, montezuma ii, and robespierre (conspiracy: is this how he knows abt reign of terror crepes ala hmbab chap 6???) and definitely more that i’m missing
  * finally, in this video at 1:09 ajc references having been at the first production of hamlet in 1601 (he doesn’t namedrop the bard specifically, but it’s pretty heavily implied), apparently he and his husband had a date there (ASIDE: i do not have the time or energy to write out a whole Thing about zira fell but he’s also highkey an immortal don’t @ me)



so _that’s_ just everything ajc has said himself in interviews and shit. but there’s still some plausible deniability, right? “oh it was a joke” “oh he was speaking metaphorically” “oh he’s referencing movies/books/shows/etc and you’re just missing the reference” “oh it’s some publicity stunt, he’s writing another book about history or w/e and this is how he’s subliminally advertising” c’mon guys, please see the TRUTH.here’s the receipts i promised, the result oft i r e l e s sresearch. cuz you see, there’s tons of photos and shit of someone who looks **_very much_** like ajc through the years.we’ll go chronologically backwards

[this photo](https://66.media.tumblr.com/0eec0895a94b5d2bf00e90ebea9970c3/521babb2f9177fe1-e5/s500x750/6167ddd29bd45a2303cde1e772eb181325db7fd2.png) is from 1967 in soho, london.looks pretty familiar, right? if you assume ajc is 52 right now (which i think is the consensus? no one seems to know when his bday is?) then he wouldn’t even have been born for another six years or so

[this photo](https://66.media.tumblr.com/31cd0b903201bcf34d1e8ae565658842/521babb2f9177fe1-03/s500x750/99de398989e66a2074955cdb9a747870edd29230.png) is from 1941. hardcore ww2 scholars may have heard of the little-known spy anthony j. crowley, who broke up a small nazi spy ring before disappearing.my goodness, that name sure is familiar!

now we’re jumping back pretty far. [this photo](https://66.media.tumblr.com/96d3d79f87d41d033e32430fbea3e13d/521babb2f9177fe1-ac/s250x400/cda99c9d4931c88d2b1b42c4edf79641bb111edf.png) is from 1862, pretty soon after the camera was invented. gotta love those muttonchops! still distinctively ajc, tho, it helps that he always wears sunglasses

finally![this](https://66.media.tumblr.com/4d267df0378a78a947eecee1bdf7e1f9/521babb2f9177fe1-13/s1280x1920/30fb276c605f137d144d55f991807418cee2a2b7.jpg) isn’t a photo, admittedly, but the subject does look awfully familiar… ooh, hey, it looks like ajc, shades n’ everything!if you look at the bottom right corner you’ll see a signature that says “leonardo da vinci” …who lived 1452-1519

tl;dr i recognize that this is in no way absolutely exhaustive, and i’m probably not gonna convince all the haters, but… for me, at least, this is at least passable proof (both with photo and verbal evidence) that ajc is a bona fide immortal who’s been alive since probably around the 1300s.

_#ajc #anthony j crowley #hmbab #immortal ajc #its red string and bulletin board time dudes #i spent waaaaaay too long on this #was it worth it? hell yeah babey #ajc if you see this i’m sorry for exposing u #but honey it’s not like u were being subtle or anything_

_**40,059 Notes** _

* * *

The next time Crowley and Aziraphale visited Tadfield, back on their yearly journey on the anniversary of Armageddon, they were accosted by Pepper almost as soon as they stepped in the door of Anathema and Newt’s cottage. 

She stopped them right in the foyer and handed a paperback book to Crowley. “Sign it,” she said with almost terrifying ferocity. 

Crowley blinked, took the book without opening it. It was his own, of course, and had obviously been read more than once if the softened pages were any indication. Aziraphale hid his smile behind one hand and focused on taking off his coat. “Er, you’ve read this?” Crowley said slowly, and chanced a look down at the book in his hand. 

“Of course,” Pepper said. Her eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “So?” 

Crowley’s face cycled through a few expressions before he said slowly, “Isn’t this a bit old for you?” Pepper set her jaw and looked ready to fight. Crowley added hurriedly, “Not that _I_ care, I’m a demon. Only, it’s a bit violent, isn’t it? With the, uh, stabbing bit? And all the stuff at the end?” 

Pepper rolled her eyes. “ _Please,_ I’m seventeen.” 

Crowley shot Aziraphale a desperate look, and Aziraphale shrugged helplessly back. He was even worse with human developmental stages than Crowley was— despite all their time on Earth, being immortal made it a bit hard to keep track of when humans were supposed to do what. 

“Er, alright, then,” Crowley mumbled. “Bully for you.” He snapped his fingers and a pen appeared in his hand that he used to sloppily sign the inside cover of the book before handing it back to Pepper. 

“Thanks!” Pepper chirped, suddenly surprisingly cheerful. “Oh, Jenny Wadston at school is going to _shit_ herself when she sees this!” She hugged the book to her chest and grinned giddily for a moment before her expression returned to normal. She squinted at them and said, “Anyway, you’re late! Everyone’s been waiting on you for lunch.” 

“Oh, terribly sorry!” Aziraphale exclaimed as Crowley grumbled and adjusted his sunglasses. “We hit a bit of traffic on the M25.” 

“A _bit_ ,” Crowley muttered resentfully. “God-blessed carpark, more like.” 

“Well, we know who to blame for that!” Aziraphale said cheerfully, patting him on the shoulder, and then followed Pepper out to the back garden where everyone else was waiting. 

Despite Pepper bringing Crowley’s newfound fame up more or less immediately, no one else at lunch mentioned it while they ate together and talked, as they frequently did, about how lovely it was that the world hadn’t ended. 

It was only much later, when the Them had all gone home for dinner and the adults left had opened a bottle or two of wine, that Anathema leaned forward in her chair a little and said with a sheepish smile, “So I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t read your book, Crowley.” 

Crowley groaned over-dramatically, slumping against Aziraphale. He was most of the way through his third glass, and Aziraphale decided he was probably the only one who knew that Crowley wasn’t really all that drunk. “This is a betrayal,” Crowley muttered, his voice a little muffled against Aziraphale’s shoulder. “Didn’t think every bloody person I’ve ever met would read that shit.” 

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that bad,” Anathema said with a laugh. “Newt enjoyed it as well.” 

Newt shrugged. “It was funny, reading it and knowing you,” he said. 

Crowley made a face. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Anathema and Newt exchanged cautious looks, as though they were afraid to say what they were thinking outright. 

“Anthony, luv, Ezra couldn’t be more transparently based on Aziraphale,” Madame Tracy said bluntly. 

“You’ve read it too?” Crowley squawked, and Tracy sipped delicately at her wine. 

“Of course, I always love a good romance,” she said, and smiled kindly at Aziraphale. “My book group read it. Susan couldn’t believe it when I said I knew you.” 

Aziraphale laughed softly and patted Crowley’s shoulder. “Alright, dearest?” 

“Mmf,” Crowley muttered. “Embarrassing. All of you, you’re all blessed embarrassing.” 

“I did wonder,” Anathema said thoughtfully, “Since Damien and Ezra are obviously based on you and Aziraphale, how many of the things they do are actually true?” 

Aziraphale smiled fondly down at the top of Crowley’s head, and just barely resisted giving it a kiss— he suspected that would only embarrass his husband more, and he’d rather not drive back to London with a huffy Crowley. “Oh, some of it, I imagine,” he said vaguely. 

Crowley sat up again, flopped back and filled his wine glass to the brim with an absent gesture. “This and that,” he said, sounding a bit less touchy. 

Aziraphale’s smile turned a little mischievous. “Crowley, like Damien, truly is lovely and sweet under his prickly demeanor,” he said, patting Crowley’s knee. Crowley hissed like a wet cat, and Anathema chuckled. 

“Well, we knew that,” she said. “Any of the historical things, I mean. Or the action? Obviously the romance is based on the two of you, that was… clearer than day.” 

Crowley sat up suddenly, his eyes gleaming behind his sunglasses. “The mobsters,” he said with a sharp grin. “The bit with Ezra dispatching the mobsters? 100% true.” 

It was Aziraphale’s turn to be embarrassed, and he batted ineffectually at Crowley’s shoulder. “Dearest!” 

“Oh,” Anathema said with a wide smile. “ _That’s_ a story we have to hear.” 

Aziraphale shot Crowley a dirty look. Crowley smiled angelically back.

* * *

**heaven-might-be-a-bakery**

So I think a ton of people in the _Heaven Might Be a Bookshop_ fandom have probably seen @tildeathdoustogether’s brilliant meta/conspiracy post about how Anthony J Crowley is definitely an immortal, but they said (and I quote) “i do not have the time or energy to write out a whole Thing about zira fell but he’s also highkey an immortal don’t @ me.”So, sorry to @ you, but lucky for you I _do_ have the time to write out a whole Thing!

See, I’ve lived in Soho for close to fifteen years, I’ve met Mr. Fell (and Crowley, honestly, before he got famous. Now I’m too nervous to go to Fell’s bookshop because _what if he’s there and I say something weird)_.And let me tell you, Fell is, like, our Resident Cryptid.He’s been around for basically forever, and there’s more or less an unspoken agreement in the area to kind of leave him be, since no one’s 100% sure what he is?(My personal theory, well… I won’t get into it here, but unlike some people, I don’t think he’s Fae.)But ask anyone in pretty much any older part of Soho and they can tell you a story about Mr. Fell.Going back… to the fifties, I think, is the farthest back I’ve heard, but he looked the _same_.

So, yeah. I don’t have the kind of receipts that @tildeathdoustogether does, but pretty much everyone in Soho knows what I’m about.Anyway, that’s all I’ll say, it’s best to let sleeping… somethings… lie. 

_#hmbab #ajc #aaaa i’ll probably delete this later i don’t want to incur the wrath of Whatever fell and crowley are soooooo_

_**56 Notes** _

* * *

“One cocoa, one light roast, and two muffins, please,” Aziraphale ordered politely at the counter of his favorite cafe, and smiled when the barista punched it in for him.He returned to the table where Crowley was waiting for him, a newspaper open in front of him as he highlighted the classifieds for postings he could take advantage of.“Any luck, darling?” Aziraphale asked with a smile as he sat, and Crowley grunted.

“Got a few ideas,” he mumbled, circling a posting looking for a snake wrangler.“I think if I combine a few, I can make some suitable trouble in Parliament.”

“Hm,” Aziraphale hummed, deciding it was probably the best if he didn’t know the details, and then slipped on his reading glasses as he stole the newspaper’s front page from his husband.They sat in companionable silence for a little while, both reading, before the barista appeared at their table with their order.

“Here you are, sirs,” he said, setting their drinks and muffins on the table after Aziraphale and Crowley had cleared their newspaper.

“Thank you, dear boy,” Aziraphale said absently, already taking a sip of his cocoa with a wide smile.

The barista lingered, and Crowley said after a long moment, “Yes?”

The barista cleared his throat, shuffled his feet.“You’re Anthony Crowley, right?” he said.“The author?”

Crowley looked mildly surprised.“I… Yeah.That’s me.”

“Can I have your autograph?” the barista asked eagerly.

Crowley’s eyebrows went up.“I… suppose,” he said tentatively.He scrambled for something to write on before finally signing a napkin with his pink highlighter.

“Thank you!” the barista exclaimed, looking a little awestruck, and then retreated back to the register.

“Darling,” Aziraphale said, tickled.

Crowley gave him a long look over the tops of his sunglasses, struggling against a reluctant smile.“Oh, sod off,” he mumbled, nudging Aziraphale's foot under the table.

Aziraphale nudged him back and then took a bite of his muffin.“Whoever would have thought?” he mused, desperately trying to keep the teasing grin off his face.“That the demon Crowley, tempter, serpent, fiend after my own heart, would be so famous an author he’d get recognized in the wild.”

“The wilds of Soho?” Crowley snorted.He stole a sip of Aziraphale’s cocoa to be difficult, and then broke his muffin into two pieces and put one half on Aziraphale’s plate.

Aziraphale dramatically pressed a hand to his heart, his eyes half closed.“To think, that one day my humble bookshop might be filled with the words of a being who claimed for six thousand years to be illiterate,” he sighed dreamily.“Oh, what an inspiring story.”

“You’re _such_ a bastard,” Crowley said fondly, rolling his eyes.

Aziraphale chuckled, going back to his muffin.“I consider that the highest compliment.”

“As you should,” Crowley replied.He reached across the table and took Aziraphale’s hand, lacing their fingers together before going back to his classifieds.They were both quiet for a moment, before Crowley’s watch beeped at him.

“Oh, sorry, angel,” he said, squeezing Aziraphale’s hand one last time before letting go and folding up his paper.“Got to get going.”

“Of course, love, good luck,” Aziraphale said with a smile.“I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully.”

Crowley stood, leaned down and gave him a quick kiss.“I’ve figured out how to namedrop Jesus in this interview, it’s about time I’ve worked up to that,” he said with a grin.“I think that’ll cause some real chaos.”

Aziraphale snorted.“If you think so.”

“The goal’s to get Tumblr to crash,” Crowley added with a serious nod.

Aziraphale lifted his hand, kissed the back of it.“I’m not sure about your tumbler,” he said, “But it may cause some trouble if you mention knowing… oh, Eve, maybe?”

Crowley’s grin widened.“Oh, you _genius,”_ he breathed.“Brilliant!”He planted a kiss on the top of Aziraphale’s head.“I’ve got to run, I’ll see you later.Love you, angel!”

“I love you too,” Aziraphale replied, and watched with an affectionate smile as Crowley all but dashed out of the cafe.

* * *

**damien-slyt**

So I love @tildeathdoustogether’s post about immortal ajc, it’s fantastically researched and surprisingly convincing.Only question left is, what _kind_ of immortal is ajc?Is he human but somehow ageless?Is he a Faerie? Is he some kind of minor deity?

Personally, my bet’s on vampire.Maybe instead of sparkling in the sun, he just needs to wear shades all the time.

 **ezras-crepes** reblogged and said:

Less popular theory, but here’s mine: I think AJC is an angel (both figuratively, he seems lovely under the sarcastic affect, and literally)

Proof

  * First off, AJC makes plenty of references to not necessarily being human.Here he says that “human concepts of gender and sexuality” don’t necessarily apply to him (but that he IDs as Gay™ lol— genuinely, though, the way he puts it is nice, especially the bit about labels being constricting for some and validating for others), here he says that “humans know a lot less than they think they do” when he was asked about some of the more… out-there things in his novel (for a romance, it has a lot of astronomy? Including some stuff that he vehemently claims is true, but my astrophysicist girlfriend begs to differ), and he has repeatedly referred to other people as “human” when it would be most natural to say “person,” “friend,” or “people.”Some examples, “news human,” “human friend and her IT guy,” “humans have always asked questions,” and probably more that I can’t be bothered to look up
  * He also makes… a lot of biblical allusions? It’s very, very subtle, but it’s there if you’re really paying attention.For those of you that didn’t go to Catholic school for twelve years (gotta use all that Bible study for something, right?), he’s alluded to: The Garden of Eden (and lowkey namedrops Eve?There were angels guarding the gates of Eden, according to the Bible, so maybe that’s how they met?), the Great Flood (Which... oof. Maybe that’s why he puts on the tough guy.For an angel who seems as quietly/secretly compassionate as him, must have been hard if we’re taking the Bible at its word... which is an entirely different argument), the Annunciation (in a way that kind of indicates he was maybe there??? Or at least heard about it from someone who was), and the Crucifixion (in a way that indicates he was definitely there???). 
  * AJC also uses “god-blessed” like a mild/fond invective?Which is a bit of an oxymoron, but.Examples here, here, and here, but you’ll notice he describes his husband as such, so it’s clearly not that serious of a curse for him.(A note: I’m only speculating, mostly jokingly and because I have too much free time, on AJC, because there’s a lot more information about him— his husband’s only appeared in one interview with him, and despite the fact that he clearly drinks his “I love my partner” juice, AJC doesn’t mention him _all_ the time.Just gonna say, though, that the nickname “angel” is very cute and may or may not also be accurate, who knows idk maybe angels date each other)
  * Just for fun let’s do a rapid-fire round of eliminating a few other types of immortals, because this is a very serious endeavor and we must be scientific :P 
    * Fae: We’ve seen him touch iron (his car is definitely old enough to have some), he’s been seen wearing bells (that holiday sweater was… something. Wouldn’t be surprised if his husband put him up to it haha), and salt doesn’t seem to be an issue for him
    * Vampire: He’s mentioned one of his favorite things to cook for his husband is pasta and garlic bread. Also, sunglasses aside, he goes out in the sun all the time ;D
    * Deity: I don’t get that vibe honestly?¯\\_(ツ)_/¯It’s my theory so I can be as picky as I like :P
    * Alien: Probably not haha, although that would explain why he knows so much about the stars.You would think that a highly-advanced alien life form would know how a blender works, though
    * Demon: Again, I don’t really get the vibe?He’s definitely, definitely, not evil (for proof, see one of the dozens of AJC being sweet/kind/lovely/wonderful videos on YouTube), and he seems to genuinely care about other people (even if he calls them humans in his generally weird way) in a manner you just wouldn’t expect a demon to.And, as noted, he seems to have no issues with salt



Anyway, that’s my manifesto on why I think AJC is an angel, enough being silly on the internet for one day ;D

(PS, I know AJC wears black all the time, and you might expect an angel to wear a lighter color palette, but honestly I think it’s just to throw people off track. Besides, ~~I’m not going to be too thirsty don’t worry~~ but black does look quite nice with his hair, and fashion seems to be something he cares about haha)

 **damien-slyt** reblogged and said:

I know I’m op but this is LITERALLY the most GALAXY BRAINED TAKE—

_#ajc #immortal ajc #hmbab #LISTEN I WAS SHITPOSTING OK #AND THEN YOU COME HERE AND LAY DOWNF A C T S #anyway this made me go watch some old interviews again and wow #a. he’s just. great. what a sweetheart #and b. you really weren’t kidding about the biblical allusions? #ajc really is just out there casually namedropping eve and jesus #what a fucking icon_

_**3906 Notes** _

* * *

Aziraphale bustled around in Crowley’s sleek, elegant kitchen, getting flour on the counters and butter on the floor while he cooked. He had been wanting to try out a new cake recipe for a good while, and Crowley had kindly offered his kitchen— it was much bigger than the small space above Aziraphale’s bookshop, and despite its size Crowley didn’t use it much. 

Aziraphale hummed happily as he mixed frosting, listening carefully for the ding of the oven timer. Distantly he could hear a low, one-sided conversation between Crowley and his beleaguered plants. The flat smelled wonderfully of baking chocolate cake, and it was warm and cozy despite the sleet tapping at the window, and Aziraphale was extraordinarily content. 

The oven timer went off and Aziraphale quickly took his cake out before turning back to the frosting he was doing his best to dye. Crowley chose that moment to wander into the kitchen, his plant mister hanging loosely in one hand and a satisfied smirk on his face. 

“Smells good,” he said, breaking off a small piece of cake as he passed, and Aziraphale shot him a toothless glare. 

“Oh, don’t, it’ll be harder to frost if you take chunks out,” he said. 

Crowley obligingly popped only two more bites of cooling cake into his mouth before coming up behind Aziraphale, sliding his arms around Aziraphale’s waist and resting his chin on Aziraphale’s shoulder. “Whatcha up to?” he asked, and then, sounding slightly alarmed, “Angel, are your fingers alright?” 

Aziraphale blinked, and lifted one hand. His fingertips were colored red with spilled food dye, but in the light it looked a bit like an injury. “Oh, fine,” he said with a small sigh. Before he could miracle it away, Crowley took his hand and kissed every fingertip, vanishing the food dye as he went. 

Aziraphale blushed pink, gooey with affection, and to distract himself dotted a little bit of frosting on Crowley’s cheek. “It matches your hair,” he said, pleased, and then kissed it off. 

Crowley snorted and then let go of him, rounding the counter and miracling up a chair to flop into. “So, angel,” he said in a tone of voice that Aziraphale was nearly certain was meant to be casual. “I’ve been thinking.” 

“Oh?” Aziraphale prompted, licking a bit of excess frosting off his finger before starting in on the cake. “That's a dangerous endeavor. What about, dearheart?” 

Crowley stared up at the ceiling, one knee kicked up and held close to his chest, his chair precariously balanced on two legs. “Well, you saw the response to the news,” he said slowly, “About making the—er, my— book into a film?” 

“I did,” Aziraphale agreed pleasantly. He had been utterly delighted, and while he hadn’t wanted to show it, Crowley had seemed just as chuffed. 

“Might be a big deal,” Crowley mumbled. “I mean, I know you don’t know much about modern celebrities? But to play Damien they’ve got that one bloke from, uh, that one show? The one with the telephone box and the aliens, can’t remember the name—“ 

“I’m afraid I don’t know, dear,” Aziraphale said. He finished frosting his cake with a satisfied grin and then turned his whole attention to Crowley. 

“Never mind, you wouldn’t like it,” Crowley mumbled, worrying his lip between his teeth. “My point is, uh, things might pick up again? With, um, the book’s popularity?” 

“They might do,” Aziraphale said patiently. He had a vague idea of where Crowley might be going with his point, and if he was right— 

“Maybe we could, um, move out of London?” Crowley suggested in a hurry, avoiding Aziraphale’s eyes. “At least part time, wouldn’t have to give up the bookshop or anything. But we could get a cottage, maybe in the country, move in together for real and have a space all of our own—“ 

Aziraphale rounded the counter and cupped Crowley’s face in both miraculously clean hands, cutting off his ramble. “Crowley, my dearest love and darling husband,” he said seriously, “I would love nothing more than to move in with you.” 

Crowley grinned slowly. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Aziraphale breathed. Crowley’s golden eyes were soft, filled with as much love as Aziraphale had ever seen— six thousand and change years of it, saved and protected until they could both finally express it. 

“That sounds wonderful, dear,” Aziraphale whispered, and Crowley leaned in and kissed him. 

Aziraphale smiled. He had never tasted something so sweet. 

* * *

**9 QUESTIONS: Bestselling author Anthony J. Crowley on popularity, representation, initials, and immortality**

**_Your novel,_ Heaven Might Be a Bookshop, _has become remarkably popular since it came out, which has resurged since the release of the film by the same name.Did you anticipate that when you were writing?_**

Nope.Not at all.Er, well… I’d hoped it’d be infamous, but, like, in a bad way.Didn’t expect the… positivity.That was surprising.

**_And how has it been, dealing with newfound fame, especially since you were relatively unknown before the publication of your book?_ **

Bizarre.Before, the only people that’d recognize me on the street were— uh, probably shouldn’t say.But now I get asked for autographs sometimes? That’s weird as all Heaven.

**_Do you wish you were a little less well-known?Has it been a difficult adjustment?_ **

Eh. My angel— that is, my husband— and I have a place in the country, so we don’t live full-time in London anymore, but that wasn’t entirely driven by a desire to be unrecognized.I guess it could have been a lot worse.It’s a bit funny, all those humans and their, er… enthusiasm?

**_How do you respond to critics who claim you “force representation” for LGBTQ+ characters in your work?_ **

Oh, that’s dumb.I think pretty much everyone has figured out now that it’s just… uh…self-insert, that’s the word?For me and Zira.So any representation present is there because it’s just us.

**_How do you feel about having written “an incredibly important book,” in the words of the_ Times?**

Oh, that’s just bullshit, the drivel I shat out isn’t any more important than other stuff that’s been written.There are lots of other good books with similar themes and messages and honestly probably of better quality and rep— or so Zira tells me, I don’t read— mine was just the one that happened to get the spotlight for a bit.It’d be unfair to exalt me as some kind of… paragon.That said, uh, if it makes some people happy?Zira’s always been a more active part of the queer community, but, um. Yeah. ‘S’ok

**_Do you plan to write any more? You’ve said before that you don’t have plans, but do you anticipate being struck with inspiration again?_ **

Nope. Retired, that’s what I am.Full-time gardener of my own garden.Besides it’s been... thirty? Years since I wrote what I did, probably can’t remember how to hold a pencil anymore.

**_Now, I have to ask— what does the J in Anthony J. Crowley stand for?_ **

It’s just a J.Really.Although I suppose today it could be Jezebel.Tomorrow, maybe Jackalope?We’ll see how the spirit moves me, so to speak.

**_You’re probably aware of your following online, how do you feel about that?_ **

Oh, it’s fantastic.So much chaos, it’s brilliant.The best thing about this whole ordeal, really.

**_And if you’re aware of your online following, you may be aware of some of the joking theories that you’re an immortal being like a vampire or an angel— with some wonderfully-doctored photos and wild conspiracy threads as proof.Any response to those people who believe the claims about your supposed immortality?_ **

If people think I’m an angel, then I’m clearly not doing my job right.I take back what I said, keep an eye out, in two hundred years or so there’ll be a sequel: _Real Heaven Sucks and Bookshops are Better for Drinking_ , by definitely, definitely evil Anthony J. Crowley.That said… it’s about bloody time somebody’s figured it out!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed! I'm [here](https://asideofourown.tumblr.com/) if that's something you're into


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